thrashed, lost and strungout. best song to describe how I'm feeling.

So this is what it feels like. It sucks. well fuck that. we'll see what happens this week. It's like you keep on telling yourself after this week/day/whatsofuckingever n it never stops. I don't get it, how did it even happen in the first place?! Im having a war right now. against myself. I should have my feelings removed.... permanently. k maybe not. Im so confuseddddddddddd I hate myself right now I swear. I don't even focus on the things I should be focusing on. what's this called again?

ultimate bullshit.

I know one day I'll look back and laugh at myself about this.