I just gotta rant

I know what I did is the right, for now n in the long run, cause to me, it's better to get hurt now than to be even worse in the future. however, apparently, I wake up to a heavy heart, I go home with a heavy heart, I sleep with memories playing in my head. It's not so bad, really, when I think about it, cause there's nothing to be sad about. but somehow, I just miss you so god damned much.

To make things worse, my mom suspects that I am still smoking. fuck yeah I am. she went through my bag, but didn't manage to get to my cigarettes. I was already prepared to go like, I am out of excuses. I'm a smoker. I'd admit now.

cause seriously I am just feeling that down. the six feet under kinda down.

That two aside, Idk how the fuck Im gona complete my work on time. I feel like giving up on myself too. guess this is the "giving up" period for me. I don't even bother to tell myself "I'll get through this and be fine" anymore.

emo liaoz

Guess my hopes shouldn't have been up from the start

so please tell me why am I still hanging on (?!!???!)

Anw, loved the company last night, I love my lundstroms!!!! First few hours of '10 spent with them. Mahjong + Wii, the Wii was the best part hahahaha, Im glad I have them, or my eve would've been ultra fucked up

Now it's time to panic cause school starts on monday. I have nothing done. weeeeeeeeeeeee Oh pool tonight can't wait, very gianzzz to play