I just gotta rant

I know what I did is the right, for now n in the long run, cause to me, it's better to get hurt now than to be even worse in the future. however, apparently, I wake up to a heavy heart, I go home with a heavy heart, I sleep with memories playing in my head. It's not so bad, really, when I think about it, cause there's nothing to be sad about. but somehow, I just miss you so god damned much.

To make things worse, my mom suspects that I am still smoking. fuck yeah I am. she went through my bag, but didn't manage to get to my cigarettes. I was already prepared to go like, I am out of excuses. I'm a smoker. I'd admit now.

cause seriously I am just feeling that down. the six feet under kinda down.

That two aside, Idk how the fuck Im gona complete my work on time. I feel like giving up on myself too. guess this is the "giving up" period for me. I don't even bother to tell myself "I'll get through this and be fine" anymore.

emo liaoz