I like long posts

Hello everyone, for the thousandth time, I hate my life. Really, just let me rant. these few days my mood has been going up n down like crazy; it's unexpected, it's very drastic changes, it's fucking ridiculous. I'm scaring myself n everyone else but I can't help it... It's because of 1) my lack of sleep, 2) my fucked up paranoia, feelings n everything along that line n 3) stress. about 2), seriously, I'm going crazy over it. I don't want to care, but I fucking do, n I seem to be fighting with myself over it. my god if this continues I'll be in an asylum pretty soon.

I think I need a holiday, god yeah I do it's like the dec holidays (which aren't gona be any different from normal school days) are motivating me to finish up my fuckin assignments. I know it'll suck with assignments to be completed but let's just say we all need to live in denial some time. I think I sound like a mad fool now but seriously this is what's going on. I hate my feelings I sometimes wished I had none from the start. well Im moving on. I think n I hope. can someone save me from my sanity?! I need like starbucks n a day to relax. faster game would be alcohol n a good nights rest. sigh..

Btw friday was gd, went out with nicole n gabriel. gabriel drove us to some place at bukit timah for ice cream, cause we all shi lian. hah oh we had fei fei before that! wasn't really hungry but I ate anw. so after ice cream we headed to some huge park I never knew existed. it's damn cooling there at night but I guess if there was less people there it'd be a better place to be emo about your life. plus the bridge's so high it's so easy to just jump off. nah kidding. nice place thou. ok then.... sat. met up w dawn n celeste for dinner at soup spoon.. first time there. we talked n stuff... went to bugis n then of course parkway for pool. today was fine, I stayed home the whole day doing typo n now subrina's proj.

I think I just lost a friend. ok whatever it's not like it makes a difference to him. no one to call when I skip class n finish sch anymore! hehe maybe I should just stay in school n stick to plans frm now on.

All I hope for is that this coming week will not be as shitty as the last, really, I hate god enough already.

domo says: we are 17, whatever happens now is nth

made me think about how stupid I am n made me feel better, I should remember this forever

can't stop thinking

:'(

okay time to go back to heartless mode

funny how it used to be so easy

wtf is wrong with me I need to concentrate on projs they are way more important man.... but some things just never fail to get in the way I sound so fucking emo HEARTLESS MODE TINGYI, AND STAY THERE IF U CAN

gd night suckas

reminder: be heartless

but still.......

sigh

why now!!!

Let's all think twice before I get my heart broken.... for the very first time in history. I know that it'd be ugly.

Hi people I'm retarded.

I gotta focus on my logo design...... but I can't.

I think I had fun today

First it was break up season, then make up n fall in love season. now it's we've-got-serious-issues season. relationships suck. I wonder how we can all still fall in love anyway. it's so stupid maybe I shouldn't marry or something, I'll live with my music (which brings my mood up most of the time) and friends. haha lonely bitch. sometimes I think if I didn't hate cats so much I'd probably end up with 27 cats at a very old age. okay what the fuck. btw projects are flying skyhigh it's ridiculous. thank god for the design week thing next week. though I'm free, I'm not really free. for god's sake we all need a break some time... my life is so not at it's best right now. so many problems I can't bring myself to deal with + so much stress from school. maybe I'm just not right for the job. I'm really much more focused this sem... I hope my grades get better. Gd night fellowz

emo

I hate not knowing what I'm feeling, it's not like I'm dying to know but it just gives me a sense of hollowness, emptiness.... Idk la I'll take this as a part of growing pains gdbye

My typical week

Sundays I promise myself to do at least some work to manage my time well. It doesn't work. Mondays I go out after school and find myself trying to complete my work at 1am in the morning. Tuesdays I go out after school again, and find myself rushing my work at 3am in the morning. Wednesdays I am totally lifeless, but I regain life when I am making plans and am on my way to meet my friends after school. It's the same at night; the work rush. Thursdays I am worse than lifeless. I get a can of redbull on my way to class. I go out after school and get my ass home for dinner. After dinner..... I'm not quite sure what happens. I'd find myself doing my work at 10, probably. Fridays my face is completely listless (it gets subrina worried sometimes). I enjoy my friday night and here comes saturday where I'd find myself completely off - I don't have school, a certain time to wake up and rush, no work to worry about (because saturdays are meant for relaxing and work "will be done" on sundays) - I never know what to do because I'm always, never without fail, way off.. in my own world.

Pathetic

When will my life (and mood) start to pick up?!

Don't go for the guy who sucks up to you. Go for the one who pisses you off on a daily basis and yet you still find yourself crazy in love with him.

Past few no sleep at all days have been killing me without me realising it. I blame school. I've been having sudden moodswings, knockouts, everything.... subconsciously. It's kinda scary... and now I also find myself having to spam pimple cream on my face every morning and night. School is making me super cui. it's definitely not because im "growing up"

With major project deadlines coming up I will soon have no time for friends and a worsened zombie face. gross. never what I will ever want.

Everything's changing with the speed of light, I dont have time to sit and think about what has changed, I just get along with it. If only time could be more generous.

I swear Sub's projects are killing me. one mistake and oops the whole thing has to be redone. I think I've wasted about a hundred layout papers already, sighhhhh

everything just seems so difficult now!!!!1! one day you'll all see me with terribly slashed wrists. don't ask why though, the reasons would be clear (I think)

I miss the fucking holidays. so fucking badly!

In my world,

everyone has the ability to read minds. that way, we don't feel the pressure of having to say something we have to but do not wish to.

This is the final resistance

the next thing I should get is a Hello kitty mouse for my mac

my mom doesn't wana pay for my shopping!!!! not till next month at least.... :(

no clothes to wear already!

first week of school over and boy, it was hell. my face - completely shag, my mood - completely intimidating, I was so pissy alice didn't dare to hug me till workshop class today haha funny shiz, I guess I do look fierce sometimes. and that, my friends, is the only thing I like about my face.

farewell.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

we need another outbreak of swine flu. I can't bear to part with my holidays

The last few days were fine, friday was nicole's surprise party. It turned out fine. this party better be one she never forgets. I learned mahjong against my own will. beginner's luck was like crazy. was damn tired, I played till 5+ then ko on her couch hahah. thennn we cleared up n I slept on her bed at 7+, till 12. went home, bathed n out again. saturday ehh. Hah we went shopping n then to classic.
I can't go out today...... sighz cause school starts tomorrow
but!
Im ordering my macbook today n my parents are going overseas next weekend yay yay yay yay yay time to start being nice to my sisters so they wont tell on me if I go out late.

Gahhhh school starts at 9 tomorrow morning.

no more waking up to a big craving for fei fei wan ton mee n calling up my friends to go eat anymore.

-POUT

baby dont worry, you are my only
you won't be lonely
even if the sky is falling down (it doesnt make sense)
I feel gay now but it's so sweet!
k I am officially weird


Anw I want COBHC in ink.

school's starting fml

Busybeeeeeee
Gna play xbox tmr hehe

I had some random thought during my shower, it's like most people say that looks don't matter, but since when did it ever happen that way?

My mp3 is still as it is... dead n gone. if only I was rich. I'd get myself the cowon s9 n my macbook pro and start downloading all my music again... cause apparently Im stuck with only 2 albums now
-Pout of my life

I really wonder how it'd be like when school starts... no more Heather n Nicole and our do rae me nonsense (most probably)

On a lighter note there's durian cake in my fridge n this cake owns man

Push me to my limits

I feel good, I actually remember to tone my face n apply moisturizer every night. supposed to do it in the day too but I always forget. well, big accomplishment anyway.

I don't want school to start
I want everything to be as it is now. woah wait long long.
Bye I'm just bored n waiting for my hair to dry cause I don't do blowdrys